First Love (Revelation 2:4,5)

Back to my first love. That's the deepest desire of my heart.

Hang in there with me, this applies to the church musician...

I remember clearly how I used to be, before Jesus (sometimes referred to as "B.C."--Before Christ). I went to church and made the right noises, but there was no sense of closeness to God. He seemed far away, out in space somewhere. I felt guilty that I didn't consider Him my best friend.

Then He made Himself real to me. Some people object to the term "born again", and others twist the meaning of it. Whatever. But I was in every way a new creation, a changed person. I was alive where I'd been dead, loving God where I had feared His punishment, and loving people I used to hate. I couldn't get enough of Him! I dove into the Bible and splashed happily in Living Water.

When being close to Him is so wonderful, why in the world do I slip away? It's just like one of my favorite hymns says: "Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it; prone to leave the God I love. Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it--seal it for Thy courts above!" (I have a list of reasons, by the way. Why I walk away from that first love, I mean. I'm tired, I'm busy, blah blah...)

Okay, so I got out of the Water and wandered off a bit. Not doing anything bad, mind you, just doing. Like the church at Ephesus Jesus scolded in Rev. 2. He compliments them for the good stuff they're doing, but then tells them they've forsaken their first love. They should remember the height from which they've fallen, and repent. It's serious enough that if they don't stir up that deep love for Him, He'll have to remove their lampstand!

Wow. That would be terrible. After all, we aren't working hard on songs just to hear our lovely voices and have the congregation say, "Oh, wasn't that nice." We're here to serve up His message, His praise, His light. How sad if our ability to cast light in a dark world were removed.

So I'm getting stirred up again. Tired or not, busy or not, injured or sick or not, I'm following hard after God. I'm reading and chewing on His Word. I'm talking to Him. I'm working at listening to Him. I'm singing worship songs to Him. I'm drawing near to Him because He says if I do, He'll come close to me.

I'm almost done writing. I just want to mention the worship song "I Will Exalt the One" by Jackie Anderson and Michael Merritt. Yesterday in church this song brought the tears.
Here's the chorus: "I will exalt the One who lifted me out of the miry clay to heights of eagles' wings. Words cannot express--all I know is this: You've changed me, You've changed me. I can remember how it used to be. I was so bound, but now I'm free. I will exalt the One who lifted me."

Longing for Him,
Robin